Months of preparation, I made my deadline, I launched on time, and in three short weeks the enemy struck and knocked me for a loop.
1 Peter 5:8 (NIV) Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
At least this time I recognized the warfare tactics quicker than I usually do, and I think I can honestly see a light at the end of my tunnel.
Have you been here? I get my act together, and I am listening to and following God’s direction and feeling so very connected to Him. Then bam, out of nowhere, it all falls apart. Someone told me a long time ago that if you aren’t a force for God, then the devil doesn’t need to mess with you. But, the minute you begin to do His will, doing good, working for Him, the enemy must find a way to stop you. I have known this to be the case more than once in my life
Often in my life, the attack has been physical, and this time is no exception. I honestly did not realize how the thought of the 5th surgery in less than five years would flip me out this much, but it did. I am just starting to feel good again since the surgery last summer. There is so much more at stake this time. Perhaps it is more the fear that even if the operation repairs a hernia and stops the acid reflux, it very well may not restore my voice and I may never be able to sing praises to God again. I have prayed about this, and I am willing to accept His will in this regard, even though my heart cries out for all to be restored. I so want to use my voice for Him, but if I have learned one thing in this journey through life, it is that He knows what is best. I am placing the outcome entirely in His hands, for His Glory!
Whatever the cause of the chaos, the devil won for a season, silencing my ability to write as I struggle to get a handle on my emotions. Currently, I am continuing to work my way through the multitude of doctors and tests and huge co-payments as I try to prepare for the operation. Today should be the last hurdle as I see the cardiologist for a release so the surgery can move forward. Hopefully, my mind can be at peace, and my writing will start to flow again. Please keep me in your prayers that we will have a date scheduled within the next couple of days, and things can move forward.
PS. I am still looking for guest authors.
PSS. Just got home from the cardiologist and just like last year he confirmed my heart is working as it should, it just beats faster than what the experts say it should. He is sending the release to the surgeon this afternoon or in the morning. I have spoken with the scheduler at the surgeon’s office, and she is contacting the hospital for scheduling now.